i used to change location at the drop of a hat. the slightest opening and i'd be there before the hat hit the floor. now there's leases. unpaid bills. coworkers i've watched grow up. bosses who've watched me grow into myself. friends that have gone out of their way to stay friends. i'd actually miss the place i was leaving for once. how weird is that?
how sad is it that if i was given the opportunity, i'd probably say no and spend countless nights awake hating myself for doing it (or NOT doing it, rather).
y'know what? fuck it. i'm a little too drunk for this, and tomorrow will be awesome (once i clock out), and sunday will be even better. awesomefest is next weekend and no one will believe i'm a day over 23. i'll be out of town and laughing like a kid for four or five days. i'll probably sleep through day 5. i'm not saying i won't laugh in my sleep. i'm also not saying i won't pump my fist in my sleep. preemptive apologies to C., who realized for the first time tonight that she's on a lease too and probably shouldn't pick up and move to another city, with OR without me. growing up sucks. i'm not the sort to start comparing our age differences with "i remember when" stories about my first true brush with the harsh realities of a "normal” life... which part of me still knows is bullshit and i should head to san diego a week early, party, then head to some country i’ve never been before with nothing but my guitar, the clothes on my back, and of course a pen and paper. and maybe whatever merch i pick up at awesomefest.
anyway, awesomefest will rule.
sorry to be such a downer. i tend to be sad when i think she might be sad, even though i know she’s even drunker than i. i’ve only had to retype a couple of these words. tomorrow she won’t remember what she’s upset about (hopefully). either way, some morning kisses and everything will be right as rain.
yeah, we’re as close to perfect as YOU’LL ever see.
xFx
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
20100815
Growing Up, Growing Sideways
I'll never understand people who complain about their significant others. If they make you so miserable, leave. Right?
Right? Anyone? I grow so tired of feeling like the only rational person around when it comes to relationships. I'm not just talking about love-life-type relationships either, but also friendships. I just can't seem to wrap my mind around so-called friendships that seem entirely based on putting each other down. Perhaps it's a self-esteem issue, or perhaps it's just some brain disorder. Maybe it's a societal after-effect on a generation raised by the television.
Whatever. I'm no psychologist. I'm just a dude happy in his relationships, surrounded by loving/supportive people. What do I know?
________________________________________________________________________
Growing Up, Growing Sideways (V. 1.3)
yeah, i do what i want and on my own time
so i guess i'm doing alright,
cuz everyone around me's still trying to fit
into expectations three sizes too big.
she's drunk and
bitching about having to wear that ring when it's hot and
her hands are swelling like sausages
and "jesus christ when do the kids go back to school
where they can bully other kids all day
instead of me?"
he's drunk and
swearing that if she don't stop
nagging he'll really leave for good this time
and to hell with the lease and "she wants to get off
the pill but i ain't about to start wearing rubbers,
so i guess i'll be proposing soon enough."
they're
spinning tires at one million RPMs,
gettin' that rut nice and deep before
stalling.
i'm drunk too, but at least i can walk home from here
and tomorrow i can sleep
through my hangover.
-xFTHMx-
__________________________________________________________________
That's just a few of my more lucid reflections on the phenomena. As my 31st birthday approaches, closely followed by my second anniversary, I find myself wondering how I wasted so much time on people who weren't even worth the breath it took to say good bye. Growing old kicks ass, even if my belly's a little softer than it used to be. Growing up on the other hand still holds no appeal to me and hopefully never will. Like Seven Seconds, I'm gonna stay young until I die. How could I ever do otherwise?
Today I'm going to drink a lot of beer and Tiltwheel will rock my face, and The French Exit will make me happier than I've been all week. I will be hoarse for days, not because I've been shouting AT someone, but rather WITH someone, and that's just about the best thing that could ever happen.
!!!!!
johnny.
Right? Anyone? I grow so tired of feeling like the only rational person around when it comes to relationships. I'm not just talking about love-life-type relationships either, but also friendships. I just can't seem to wrap my mind around so-called friendships that seem entirely based on putting each other down. Perhaps it's a self-esteem issue, or perhaps it's just some brain disorder. Maybe it's a societal after-effect on a generation raised by the television.
Whatever. I'm no psychologist. I'm just a dude happy in his relationships, surrounded by loving/supportive people. What do I know?
________________________________________________________________________
Growing Up, Growing Sideways (V. 1.3)
yeah, i do what i want and on my own time
so i guess i'm doing alright,
cuz everyone around me's still trying to fit
into expectations three sizes too big.
she's drunk and
bitching about having to wear that ring when it's hot and
her hands are swelling like sausages
and "jesus christ when do the kids go back to school
where they can bully other kids all day
instead of me?"
he's drunk and
swearing that if she don't stop
nagging he'll really leave for good this time
and to hell with the lease and "she wants to get off
the pill but i ain't about to start wearing rubbers,
so i guess i'll be proposing soon enough."
they're
spinning tires at one million RPMs,
gettin' that rut nice and deep before
stalling.
i'm drunk too, but at least i can walk home from here
and tomorrow i can sleep
through my hangover.
-xFTHMx-
__________________________________________________________________
That's just a few of my more lucid reflections on the phenomena. As my 31st birthday approaches, closely followed by my second anniversary, I find myself wondering how I wasted so much time on people who weren't even worth the breath it took to say good bye. Growing old kicks ass, even if my belly's a little softer than it used to be. Growing up on the other hand still holds no appeal to me and hopefully never will. Like Seven Seconds, I'm gonna stay young until I die. How could I ever do otherwise?
Today I'm going to drink a lot of beer and Tiltwheel will rock my face, and The French Exit will make me happier than I've been all week. I will be hoarse for days, not because I've been shouting AT someone, but rather WITH someone, and that's just about the best thing that could ever happen.
!!!!!
johnny.
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