i used to change location at the drop of a hat. the slightest opening and i'd be there before the hat hit the floor. now there's leases. unpaid bills. coworkers i've watched grow up. bosses who've watched me grow into myself. friends that have gone out of their way to stay friends. i'd actually miss the place i was leaving for once. how weird is that?
how sad is it that if i was given the opportunity, i'd probably say no and spend countless nights awake hating myself for doing it (or NOT doing it, rather).
y'know what? fuck it. i'm a little too drunk for this, and tomorrow will be awesome (once i clock out), and sunday will be even better. awesomefest is next weekend and no one will believe i'm a day over 23. i'll be out of town and laughing like a kid for four or five days. i'll probably sleep through day 5. i'm not saying i won't laugh in my sleep. i'm also not saying i won't pump my fist in my sleep. preemptive apologies to C., who realized for the first time tonight that she's on a lease too and probably shouldn't pick up and move to another city, with OR without me. growing up sucks. i'm not the sort to start comparing our age differences with "i remember when" stories about my first true brush with the harsh realities of a "normal” life... which part of me still knows is bullshit and i should head to san diego a week early, party, then head to some country i’ve never been before with nothing but my guitar, the clothes on my back, and of course a pen and paper. and maybe whatever merch i pick up at awesomefest.
anyway, awesomefest will rule.
sorry to be such a downer. i tend to be sad when i think she might be sad, even though i know she’s even drunker than i. i’ve only had to retype a couple of these words. tomorrow she won’t remember what she’s upset about (hopefully). either way, some morning kisses and everything will be right as rain.
yeah, we’re as close to perfect as YOU’LL ever see.
xFx
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